rainbow banner talking about christian values being about compassion. inclusion, and separation of church and state

Despite the best efforts of conservative, anti- sex ed advocates, it happened! We came, we educated, we ate pizza, and we had a great time.

On May 21st, the wonderful people at Washington Area Secular Humanists (the Southern MD chapter is known as SMASH) brought me down to Lexington Park library to teach my Straight Talk Sex Ed for Teens class, which had been cancelled due to public and county-level pressure this March. And verily, it was awesome.

The effort was lead by the indomitable Samantha McGuire, the WASH co-president and self described “rabble rouser” of comprehensive sex ed in St. Mary’s County.  She also gives excellent hugs.

Sam pulled together an amazing crew of smart, passionate, helpful volunteer organizers who managed the logistics of the event including fundraising, advertising, and buying LOTS of PIZZA. They also responded to a slew of ridiculous op-eds calling me a “sexual predator” and saying I promote “an extreme sex agenda.” 

Their sign says, “Thank you St. Mary’s County Library for Supporting Education and Free Speach”

So a huge thank you to Jay Ball, Louise Ball-Ide,  Jayne C. Walsh, Lisa Grossman, Jacob Wallace, Laura Wallace, Patricia Taylor Hertzbach, Danny Campbell, and any other warriors I missed. 

Likewise I have to thank all of the wonderful folks from St. Mary’s county who sent me emails, tweets, and facebook messages of thanks and encouragement. I have never felt more like a celebrity in my life. It’s both bizarre and gratifying.

 

While I was teaching my 2 hour session for young people, the volunteers from WASH had also assembled an all-star panel to discuss the importance of sex ed in Maryland.

The panelists were:

  1. Carmen Green, Constitutional Litigation Fellow, Americans United 
  2. Deborah Duley, LCSW, Owner of Empowered Connections Therapy Practice
  3. Heatherly Hodges, Vice President of WASH and social worker
  4. James Walker, Chaplain, Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Southern Maryland
A group of brightly colored folks outside the library holding posters/signs. No writing is clearly visible.

These are all the awesome folks who came out to protest in SUPPORT of comprehensive sex ed

Based on the clapping from next door, it must have been a good session. At least 40 adults were in attendance to show their support at the panel, with even more outside on the grass enjoying a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

 

As always, I was not surprised to find that the young people at my class were engaged, mature, silly, fun, kind, attentive, and thoughtful people. They asked great questions, like “Is it ok to use two forms of hormonal contraception at once” (no, please don’t) and “What happens when the pelvis separates when someone gives birth?” (no bones break, the pelvic floor muscles stretch and some cartilage expands– both can go back to normal over time/with pelvic floor training).  They even prompted me at times to make sure I cover important topics like “not using two condoms at the same time.”

Facebook comment saying, "Post sex-class talk with my daughter summary: Right after she met Bianca and got an overview of what to expect, she texted me "I love this' followed by "this is great." My daughter said she learned more in 2 hours about safe sex than she did all semester in helath class. She also said that all the info was reasonable and nothing "freaky" or scandalous was brought up. She said most of it was debunking myths, preventing STDs (even the need for lube to prevent microtears which significantly increase your risk of STIs-- honestly something I would never think to talk to her about- a lot about consent, forms of control, and anatomy.

Apparently I did ok.

I’m so glad that I was able to come and teach this class. I’m proud of the young people who showed up and wanted to learn more about their bodies and how to make informed decisions about their relationships. I was touched by the student who said he was there to support his mom, who believes strongly in sex ed and LGBT inclusivity. I’m pleased that there was a space where I could tell young people, “Not everyone is having sex. It’s ok to wait. But if you’re going to have sex, let me give you the information you need to do it safely and responsibly.”

There are definitely detractors who think this class was about teaching kids how to have oral sex and tie people up with fishing twine or something (oh my god, please don’t do that). While I have a

Bianca Palmisano: less creepy than PE teachers.

pretty liberal view of what sexuality can look like between consenting ADULTS, this class was about giving basic, medically-accurate information to young people. I don’t tell them what to do in the bedroom. I give them the space to think about what they want out of their relationships– how to set boundaries for themselves, how to make decisions about healthcare, and how to have conversations with their families and peers about this stuff.

 

I seriously hope this will spark more conversations among the peers of students who came to this session. That’s all I could ask for.

Sunday also reinforced for me how important it is to offer resources to non-urban areas. And it reminded me that the true heroes are the locals who fight bigotry and make space for people like me to come in and help.

Me? I just taught a class. The people of St. Mary’s made it possible.

Do you love this? Want sex ed in your community? Want to support Intimate Health Consulting. Here are 3 ways:

  1. Bring us to your community to teach “Straight Talk Sex Ed for Teens.”  I offered this class for free, but a rival organization raised $10,000 to bring in an abstinence only speaker the week before. Can raise some money so that I can teach at your library AND pay my rent? (I travel all across the country, btw)
  2. Do you know a healthcare provider who needs training, 1-on-1 coaching or support around sexual health? Most of the teens in my class said their pediatrician had never asked them about dating violence, depression, or their sexuality. That means your healthcare provider needs help too! Make an introduction to your healthcare provider, clinic, or hospital via bianca@intimatehealthconsulting.com, FB, Instagram, or Twitter. I can do all of this remotely or in person!
  3. Can’t swing either of those things? Share our social media! We have the BEST fans. Post this blog to one of your channels and spread the word about our work!

THANK YOU!